One Monologue

When sometimes you felt like you're falling into a big black hole, think what is the purpose of your life? What is your destiny? What you wanna gain to? And etc, it made your mind go around the imagination, the fiction you build with all of you wanted to be. I'm including with this situation. Where I would like to know myself deeper than before. Dig it out what is actually I'm looking for in my own life. I was thinking that I feel better when I decided something from the thoughts of someone else. But now I realized, I felt so sad pathetic and regretful when i knew that decision is not made by myself. It's hurt.. When you feel sorry for someone who doesn't deserved to have it, at the same time you're definitely know that you can't go back to that time. This earth was spinning around with it's rotation. How about this life? The past is past, and we're live in life now.. You should be learned of the mistake that you got in the past and don't make yourself falling in the same black hole. You'd better to get some, than a lose some.