Day 4

a view outside from my room at the 4th floor

It's sunny outside but i don't really want to go out from the apartment, at the first time i'm arrived in this country i usually came by to my cousin's house, he's already have two kids, Fadhil and Jarfa, they are so cute, just wait until i get they're picture so i can post out in here.

Oooh God, how do i miss Jakarta so much, i miss my mom and my brother, Ristu. I miss to company mom to get her radiotherapy at the hospital, i miss to fight with Ristu, i miss my boyfriend so much, how to communicate with him even we're having a long distance relationship (Jakarta-Surabaya) were never meant harder than now we do. I miss Aplie so much, i miss to see her a lot. And i miss the other friends of mine, how do i miss to catch up and hangout with them.

Now i have to be more patient because the fact that i got a new job from my cousin, to help him on his project of a drama television at the Production House that he has been work. It means i will spend much more time to live here and it's so damn Arrrrgh!!! I can't explain what is on my mind but this is too much i guess, i can't stop thinking about my mom, how she feels now, how good she is, and the culture shock thingy, and so many things that i better left unsaid, because this is too much! MUCH! oh okay, feels like my brain will be exploded, so i have to finish my word, just now.

Oh Well, Hey..

Just want to follow up a little life of me i will write again a few post in here. The last three months ago i passed the hardest days of my life, while the most time i spent before is about thinking about my future and a dozen plans of mine, i have to face the fact of my mom suffering from her cancer. When i have to stop applying a job that have been so closed to me and decided to choose spending my time to company her and take care of her health.

It's been 22 months she had survived from her cancer after the first diagnose at the last January in 2010. She lost more than 20 kilos of her weight, she looks so fragile, she's been so weak, but even though now she lost her ability to walk alone and her face telling that she tired of her self, i know she's strong enough, i know she can survive to kill her pain. I know you can, Mom..

Now we have to be separated a thousand miles a way, i can't reach you like the passed a month ago when i totally can safe you on the side of your bed at the hospital and having my sight is just around you. It's so hard to let myself leaving you at a time like this. When you pushed me to accompany Dad to finish his duty at the ambassador of Brunei Darussalam, that was hurt a lot, but i promise you to come back soon to pick you up, Mom.. like the first plan we have when Dad tell us about his job mutation. You will be happy to lives here, so get well very soon Mom, i love you. :)